there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
