Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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