I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
