So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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