he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
