I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
