Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
