Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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