He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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