Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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