She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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