smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
