I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
