Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Boobs are out for the taking
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
