I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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