Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
two words: eviction party
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
