My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
