btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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