On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
