That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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