the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
