WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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