Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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