week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
