didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
