She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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