she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
