We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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