I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
