I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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