We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
