Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
