I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
