Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
