11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
