I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
