maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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