No I am not eating basil off your cock
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Couch. On fire.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
