She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
