he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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