Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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