therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
