garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
