Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize