we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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