oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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