This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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