I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Randomize
