the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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