You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
