So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
tell me about the fingering
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
