I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
