they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
FUCK WHALES
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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