And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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