When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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