I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
