You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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