3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
