i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
