OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
