What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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