areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
