I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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