Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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