I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
