can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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