I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
