Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
