I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
