do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
